h/t to Deacon Greg at The Deacon’s Bench.
Are Video Games Bad for Kids?
May 8, 2012 By Leave a Comment
I’m often asked “Are video games bad for kids?” There is no simple answer to that question. It is an issue that deserves careful consideration.
1. How much time should your child spend playing video games? Each family will have to answer this question for themselves, but it is estimated that the average american child spends upwards of 8 hours a day “connected” (TV, cell phone, computer, earbuds in). I would expect this statistic to rise drastically as more and more schools incorporate technology into the school day. A consequence of this “connectedness” is a decline in interpersonal relationship skills (social skills). If you are bringing gaming systems into your house, think through what boundaries (amount of time spent, time frames, etc) and the consequences that will result in not respecting those boundaries.
2.What types of games is s/he playing? I’ve heard some people suggest “There is no research that has conclusively proven that violent video games causes aggressive and violent behavior in young people.” And while there IS a growing body of research in this area, I don’t need the New England Journal of Medicine to conclusively prove to me that eating Kale and Spinach are better for my cardiovascular health than Popeyes fried chicken. Common sense. We know that one of the primary ways children learn is through modeling. What types of behavior are video games modeling for your child/teen?
3. Carefully Consider Bringing them In: One way to avoid the issue completely is to not bring them in the house. And while some suggest “That’s unrealistic Roy, all their friends are playing it!” I would s simply ask: “What do you want for your child? What every other child in America has? or do you want more than that for your child?” Consider what you think is best for your child and act accordingly. Your child may not like it, but they will respect you for it. And respect is worth a lot more than being liked.
4. How else could your child spend their time? Are their other activities that help exercise their imagination and creativity? Are there activities outside they can be involved in? Boys especially could benefit from more time moving their bodies than plopped in front of another screen manipulating a game controller.
5. What kids want most is a meaningful relationship with their parents. When they don’t get it, they’ll settle for other things, people and experiences. Young people need us, adults to take initiative in these relationships. They want to spend time with us. Deep down, they want us to rescue them from the mediocre pseudo adventure they find in gaming and introduce them to a real adventure in an active life of service and adventure with us.
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If We Were Christians
May 7, 2012 By Leave a Comment
In his book The Call to Conversion, Jim Wallis tells this story:
I remember a conference in NYC. The topic was social justice. Assembled for the meeting were theologians, pastors, priests, nuns and lay church leaders.
At one point a Native American stood up, looked out over the mostly white audience, and said, “Regardless of what the New Testament says, most Christians are materialists with no experience of the Spirit. Regardless of what the New Testament says, most Christians are individualists with no real experience of community.”
He paused for a moment and then continued: “Let’s pretend that you were all Christians. If you were Christians, you would no longer accumulate. You would share everything you had. You would actually love one another. And you would treat each other as if you were family.”
His eyes were piercing as he asked, “Why don’t you do that? Why don’t you live that way?”
This bothers me–in the pit of my stomach it bothers me. It makes me reflect on how seriously I believe in Jesus and how seriously committed I am to following him. I love it when that happens.
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Finding Your Purpose
April 27, 2012 By 2 Comments
In last Sunday’s bulletin, my pastor passed along a quote from the movie Hugo which he had recently watched.
“Sometimes I come up here at night…just to look at the city. I like to imagine that the world is one big machine. You know, machines never have any extra parts. They have the exact number and type of parts they need. So I figure if the entire world is a big machine, I have to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason, too…Maybe that’s why a broken machine always makes me a little sad, because it isn’t able to do what it was meant to do…Maybe it’s the same with people…If you lose your purpose…it’s like you’re broken.”
Hugo’s right, “When you lose your purpose… it is like you’re broken.” But the converse is also true: when you’re broken, it is hard to see “purpose.” When we’re hurt, disappointed, betrayed, left behind, abused or neglected we don’t experience our lives as purposeful, significant or meaningful.
How Do We Discover our Purpose?
“Your true purpose is to be found in God.” is something I read and hear a lot. And while I agree, it is important to remember that this is a process. We don’t start there. We start by feeling significant to one other person–be them a parent, loved one, a spouse. Ideally our lives are a journey of seeing ourselves as significant to different people, different groups of people whose affection for us enables us to see ourselves (and our purpose) in a God whom we cannot see.
Finding our purpose, our life’s meaning our “place in the machine” happens over time, one person at a time. In times of brokenness it will be most difficult to see. It is usually through reflecting on our lives, praying with our lives (as the sum of our relationships and experiences) that we come gradually to see God’s hand in it all.
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Demystifying the Writing Process
April 21, 2012 By 2 Comments
I’m often asked, “How do you write a book? I want to write a book, but I wouldn’t know where to start.” I remember feeling the exact same way until two friends (both excellent thinkers and writers) within weeks of one another encouraged me one saying “If you wanna write, then write.” and the other, looked at me with complete confidence and said, “Oh yeah, brother, you can do it–and you should.”
That’s what I did–the same day. I sat down and wrote…and wrote…and wrote. That was ten years ago, six books (three published and one in press) and 100 columns ago. Sure, I read lots of books on writing books. Some were helpful (I’ll write a future post on which I found most helpful). The single most important thing I did (and still do) was writing– sitting in my recliner, in my truck, in my office, on the airplane, in the taxi, on my porch swing, in my camper, in my hotel room, in the conference center lobby between sessions putting words, sentences and the occasional paragraph on the page.
The Hardest Part of Writing
Writing is by far the hardest part of the writing process. Why? Because you don’t feel like a writer when you’re doing it. You feel like a hack. You feel stupid. As words go down on the page you become aware that you have more thinking to do in order to achieve greater clarity around your ideas. The other reason it is hard is that most of what comes out really is garbage. It’s the horrible stuff you see on the marked up pages below. Before the rough draft comes the ”vomit” copy. It is called that because it is a stream of consciousness–no editing–and its about as pleasing to the eyes as well… you get the picture.. I don’t correct anything during the vomit copy–not even a misspelled word. This is very hard to do. Because correcting mistakes feels like productivity. It feels like you’re really doing something. But it is a very subtle distraction from this most important part of the writing process–writing. There’s time to edit later–as you can see by the marked up copy which after editing condensed to less than half of the original. Some writers estimate that upwards of 2/3 of what they first write gets cut–some to be repurposed later, most just deleted. Ernest Hemingway once said, “There are no great writers–only great re-writers.”
I’ll do this two pages at a time and then I’ll have a “rough draft” of the chapter (the first page of which is the non-marked up page above) I’ll give the completed “rough draft” to my two “darling killers” (called that because its their job to be emotionally detached from the content so they can kill stuff that doesn’t make sense, doesn’t fit– my darling words and sentences whom I love–my darlings) For me these are my wife and best friend. I trust them to give me brutally honest feedback. I’ll make those edits and then send the chapter to my editors at Franciscan Media who will then give me even more brutally honest feedback.
So if you’re among the 85% of people who want to write, but never have I just have three pieces of advice:
1. Write
2. Refuse to be discouraged by the quality that comes out
3. Write some more.
More to come…
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The Struggle of Creativity
April 4, 2012 By 1 Comment
When I stumbled across this on Pinterest, the “writer” in me was affirmed. Then I thought about the times in ministry I “struggled” and felt tempted to throw in the towel. All of us, be it professionally or otherwise, are called to create–we are called to participate in the creative endeavor of God. Yet most of us don’t see ourselves as “creative.” But we are.
“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.” — Ira Glass
All who do creative work will struggle at some point, for some time. We will go through a “dip”, will hit the “wall” will get “blocked.” Yet it is important that we frame that as temporary. Nothing (in this life) lasts forever…even the struggle.
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Preparing for Today’s LA Congress Workshop
March 25, 2012 By 4 Comments
After yesterday’s workshop “Fishers of Men or Keepers of the Aquarium–Reclaiming Our Call to Minister to the Unchurched, Non churchgoing and Uninvolved” I received emails with questions and requests for specific content in today’s follow up session “What Got Us Here Wont Get Us There: The New Skills Needed for the New Evangelization.” Much of it wasn’t what I had planned to say and as odd as it sounds, I was pumped about that. My favorite part of every workshop, etc is Q & A. It is an opportunity for me to hear the actual needs of folks in the ministry trenches, and offer specific help within their specific situation. And often, we get to continue the dialogue via Facebook or email after the session if I deem the content not applicable to the larger audience.
Also, since I get asked this question a lot “How do you write your talks?” I figured this would be the best way to answer. As you can see I don’t “write them” I brain dump. After this brain dump in my notebook, I’ll try to order ideas, points and stories on a yellow legal sheet of paper–all the while deciding what to leave out. What doesn’t make it into the “presentation” is just as important as what does. Then I’ll write a about ten points on a note card or some other page in my notebook that I’ll refer to if necessary during my presentation. It is at this point, and not until this point, that I begin organizing, amassing visual/audio aids. Most often I use Keynote which is very light on words and image heavy. I use LOTS of slides…because they’re free! I always use 42 pt Impact font w/ black and red text on a white background because this is easiest to see even in poor lighting–which you can almost always count on–poor lighting.
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Los Angeles Religious Education Congress
March 24, 2012 By 4 Comments
For the last couple of days I’ve been in Anaheim, CA at the Los Angeles Religious Education Congress. It is by far the largest religious education “conference” in the 
US. There were 20,000 youth at Youth Day, and over 20,000 adults attending the Congress here in Anaheim, CA. My experience here has reminded of my time studying in Rome in many ways, but namely the vast diversity within our Church.
My workshop this morning “Are We Still Fishers of Men? Or have We Become Keepers of the Aquarium? Reclaiming our Call to Minister to the Unchurched and Non-Churchgoing.” The energy in the room was great. Almost 400 people from all parts of the US and other countries, seeking inspiration, validation and tools to use in their evangelization efforts.
One of the toughest things about being the “speaker” is that while everyone gets to hear me, there’s no way for me to “hear” them, their story, their personal and ministerial successes, setbacks and challenges. But that doesn’t stop me from trying! Toward the end of the line were three young men who waited almost 40 minutes to thank me for affirming efforts at relational ministry, and reminding them that it was not only OK, but loving, one person at a time is the ONLY way we can share Christ with others.
Can’t wait till tomorrow’s workshop, “What Got us Here, Won’t Get Us There! New Skills Needed for the New Evangelization.” CD’s of both sessions will be available here within the next week.
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Lent Mission-St. Michael’s-Bedford, TX
March 17, 2012 By Leave a Comment
I spent an amazing six days in Bedford, TX at St. Michaels church parish. Once again, I come away with much, much more than I could have possibly offered. Faith, gratitude, humility and love of the people in this parish has overwhelmed me for the last year that I’ve been invited in to preach, train and teach. I can truly see how Jesus said “Faith like this I have not seen.” It was humbling, inspiring and exhilarating. Special thanks to Mark Lentz for sharing the photos, Fr. John, Fr. Kim, Mike Bush, Lori Muckensterm, Tracy Gomes, Jessica Bruda and the entire staff and parish of St. Michaels for their warm, generous hospitality.
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