Why All Relationships Matter


“Our relatedness brings us into reality, provided we are open to it. For instance, we prefer to avoid those people who annoy us, upset us, rub us the wrong way, push our buttons. Yet these are precisely the people who can help us to grow. Our reaction to them exposes the egoism we try to hide, the fear we suppress, the spite we pretend isn’t there. Let’s ask ourselves, ‘Who is the person I most hate to be around?’ We need that very person in order to be real.Relationships show us what’s truly happening in our life, if we have the courage to face it. They reveal this separate, unreal self of ours who wants to isolate us from the rest of the human race…. If we come to church on Sunday with the notion, ‘I’m here to be alone with God, I’m here to do my private devotion,’ we’re living in a dream world. There is no such thing as a solitary Christian.” 

~Terance Grant    The Silence of Unknowing


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  1. Margot Ortega says:

    Thank you Roy for constantly reminding me how to address my students each day! I teach middle school 8th graders and I, too, am part of building that deep sense of “self” as it relates to our relationship/friendship with God. In fact, with my son in High School I have come to value the depth of the relationships developed between student and teacher, and so I try to gently remind them to allow God to be their compass…not the media. You are right about aggravating and stupid. While these are “voo-doo” words for teachers (stupid), it really gets their attention if I say, “There are days I feel like stupid is stamped on my forehead.” They laugh or smile because they “get it.” We also use he terms “…that gets under my skin” to refer to anger. It is as if the anger resonates beneath the external and touches us so deep we feel it to the core of ourselves, literally. I remind them that anger masks pain, so own it, feel it, and give it to God who is experienced in what to do with it. We don’t have time for it, we are busy learning and anger is Satan’s way of distracting us as we work towards improving the world. Then, of course, I have to practicd what I preach, and that is a work in progress.

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