What Does Awkward Cost?

Everyone’s felt awkward at different times in our lives—not just when we were growing teenagers. It is a common and normal emotion. Awkwardness is a fear of discomfort, embarrassment, having a loss of words, conflict or rejection.

For many it has become a signal to avoid a particular situation. “If I feel awkward so this must be bad and therefore I won’t do it.” Or “This feels awkward and if I do this it will feel even worse.”

What are the hidden costs of awkwardness?

Friends who lose touch because confronting the other on something they did that hurt felt awkward.
Couples who experience a sexual problems because they feel awkward talking about what is and what’s not working in their sex life.
Young people who have their first conversation about sex with me because their parents feel awkward.
The starving artist whose light stays hidden because she feels awkward promoting her work.
The person who doesn’t get the psychological or medical help they need because seeing a professional feels awkward.
The raise you don’t get because asking for it feels awkward.
The money you spend on medical bills because calling the insurance company to challenge their decision feels awkward.
The learning disorder that goes undiagnosed in your child because seeing someone about an assessment feels awkward.
Spending your life doing what other people want you to do, because setting healthy boundaries for yourself feels awkward.
Working too much because telling your boss “No.” feels awkward.
The movies you never see because going by yourself feels awkward.
The Christmas gifts you never receive because telling your spouse/friend/children what you want feels awkward.
The answers you never get because raising your hand to ask a “stupid” question feels awkward.
The life skills your child never develops because teaching them how to shake hands and be interested in others feels awkward.
Not starting an exercise program because going to the health club feels awkward.
The spiritual life you don’t enjoy because praying to “an invisible God” feels awkward.
The boss who allows their employee to do less, underachieve because confronting or challenging them feels awkward.
The relationship that is mediocre and fails to thrive because talking about feelings, dreams, fears and intimacy feels awkward.
Not improving your skills, and therefore not advancing in your career or relationships because asking others for sincere, honest feedback feels awkward.

How much is awkwardness costing you? What is one action you could take today to overcome a feeling of awkwardness and improve an area of your life? What would that cost you? More importantly, what would you get in return?