Scary Statistics and Lame Excuses

As you read these statistics, I invite you not to think “I know this already.” Instead, ask “How well do we recognize these issues in young people?” and “How well are we reaching out to young people with these issues?”

50% of teens live in homes where parents are divorced.
30% of those teens live in blended families
25-30% of teen girls have a diagnosable eating disorder
Of girls who have eating disorders ½ of them also self injure
20-30% of teens have tried to harm themselves (cutting or burning)
Youtube has over 5000 videos depicting youth “cutting” themselves
Girls are 4 times more likely than boys to cut themselves
Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in teens today.
25% of teens live in single parent families
1 out of 25 teens live with neither of their parents
63% of youth suicides occur in fatherless homes
Children from fatherless homes are 5x more likely to commit suicide
2/3 of all high school seniors have used illegal drugs
77% of 8^th graders have used alcohol
1 out of 10 teens identify as being gay
10-20% of teens have experienced same sex attraction
gay teens are twice as likely to commit suicide as heterosexual teens
3 out of 10 girls have experienced sexual abuse at some point in their childhood
1 out of 7 boys report having experienced sexual abuse during childhood
Only 10-15% of child sexual abuse is reported

(Source: A whole bunch of places that I don’t have the time nor desire to cite.)

Some Common Excuses To Ignore the Above

I don’t have training. (Why aren’t you getting it? Why aren’t you providing pastoral care training for your ministers and catechists?)

I don’t know what I’d do if my young people shared these things with me. (See above. Also, if not you, who?)

I’m not a counselor. (Most young people don’t need a counselor. They need someone to love them, walk with them through this and when necessary help them talk to their parents and find the help they need.)

I can’t teach my staff how to deal with these issues. (What other things can’t you teach your staff to do for which you delegate or outsource? We budget what is important.)

The board (PTO, Administration, Pastor, etc.) won’t support me in doing this. (How strong are your relationships with them? What can you do to make them stronger? How are you presenting, defining, explaining “this” to them?)

Talking to young people and their parents about these issues is awkward. (That same awkwardness cost me many years growing up morbidly obese. What else is awkwardness costing you? Others?)

I don’t know where I’ll find the time to fit this stuff in amidst all the other things we’ve got going on. (We schedule what’s important. How can you fit this into the programs, etc. you’re already doing? What is it time to stop doing?)

I’m leading young people to Jesus so that he can heal them from these things. (And Jesus is leading them back to you so that through you, your heart, your hands, your voice, and your story he can heal them. That is Incarnational ministry.)