Five Tips for Influencing Youth

Have you ever thought “I wish _____ (insert the name of any young person) would listen to me and take more of my advice.”?

Whether we are parents, educators or ministers, we all wish we could exert more influence over the young people in our lives. There are five things you can do today to make that happen.

1. Be Accepting. Some confuse the word acceptance with approval. We can accept a young person while not agreeing with certain things they do or believe. Jesus spent a lot of time with people whose behavior he could not condone, but he did not let their sin prevent him from loving and accepting them. Only when youth experience our total acceptance will they consider our beliefs about spirituality and lifestyle choices.

2. Be Present. Young people notice when we are “going through the motions” or mindlessly saying “uh huh” or “head bobbing.” When youth feel we are not really “with” them, but instead are mentally wandering they become resistant and distant.

3. Be Yourself. When I first started working with kids, my attempts to speak their slang often came off as foolish and cost me their respect. While it is important to be familiar with youth culture it is crucial that we remain true to who we are. Young people have enough buddies. What they need and crave are meaningful relationships with mature and healthy adults.

4. Be Vulnerable. Young people know we don’t have it all together. And while we must maintain healthy boundaries when we self-disclose, it is essential that they have a glimpse into our brokenness. It is in our brokenness that they experience our humanity. Be human, be broken, be vulnerable and you’ll be very influential in their lives.

5. Be Interested. To be interesting, be interested. Although youth send signals to the contrary, they want adults to take a sincere interest in them. We do this by asking thoughtful, respectful and open-ended questions about them, their culture and what’s going on in their lives. And when they risk sharing with you refer back to #1–be accepting!