Are You Making the Most of Your “Face Time” with Youth?

Karl Fisch a 20-year veteran teacher at Arapahoe High School in Colorado, Karlfisch and co-creator of one of the most viral videos on the web Shift Happens (Did You Know) has "flipped" the way he teaches math. Traditional teaching involves presenting lessons during the school day and sending students home to work on problems. Karl instead is  videoing his lessons and uploading them to Youtube for students to watch at home.  He uses class time the following day to answer questions and help students work on problems together.

Daniel Pink, in an interview with Fisch quotes him, “When you do a standard lecture in class, and then the students go home to do the problems, some of them are lost. They spend a whole lot of time Picture 3being frustrated and, even worse, doing it wrong.”

And while most of us have expanded our ministry tool box to include other strategies, processes and delivery systems other than a “talk”, there are millions of youth every week sitting on terazzo tiled floors listening to "talks" they could watch online.

  A few questions:

  • How much of our face time with the busiest generation in the history of civilization are we spending giving talks?
  • What can you offer young people face to face that they cannot get through and online medium?
  • How might we use technology to better leverage the time we spend face to face with young people?
  • What are the things that take up time in your classes, meetings, etc. that can be  replicated online?
  • How might  parent outreach be more effective using webinars in lieu of having them find babysitters and handle the evening routines in order to attend another meeting?

This doesn’t have to replace face time with our families, staffs, volunteers, teens—but it should be another “tool” in our box to share the gospel with youth and their families.

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Five Practical Tips for Farming Rocks

Consult. Professional counselors, other more experienced parents you trust to gauge the severity of the issue. Sometimes we feel weak and insufficient by asking others for help. There is NO instruction manual. The best parents, teachers and ministers did not grow in a vacuum–their growth is a result of shared wisdom.

Reflect on your experience. If applicable, how did you deal with this or a similar issue? What lessons did you learn? What did others do for you that seemed helpful? What did others do for you that didn’t work?

Pray. Sometimes this most obvious of solutions gets tossed aside because it seems impractical. Allow God the Wonder Counselor to comment on the situation and offer his two cents.

Learn. I amazes me how many people complain about not understanding  kids but don’t read books, blogs, listen to CD’s, mp3′s or attend workshops and seminars.  One more episode of reality TV is not going to improve your parenting skills nor will it improve your understanding of or connection with youth. Ask yourself this question “How much growth would come from me spending 10 minutes a day listening to or reading helpful information about my child?” I’ll give you the answer–ALOT! Here are some great resources to get you started.

Mark Oestreicher’s blog

Catholic Youth Ministry Blog

Jim Leibalts Youth Culture Update

Pax Renewal Center

Life Teen

Tina Hart

Communicate. Start by asking “Help me understand this. Please. Mom (dad, or other) really wants to understand what’s going on, and if necessary help. But we need your help to understand ______ (insert issue).” Often the young person themselves may not understand what’s going on, or more commonly, have the language to express it. Suggest the possibility of visiting with someone who might help “us” understand the issue—not fix it. Youth don’t want to be fixed. They want to be understood, accepted and loved. But…don’t we all?

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Farming Rocks

For a people who sustained themselves on their own produce, the multitude of rocks strewn throughout their farmland made no sense. Even amateur gardeners know that rocks impede root formation in plants.

Yet the ancient tribe of Anastasi Indians who, centuries ago, inhabited the now desolate Easter Island, learned to grow their food amidst rocky soil. To make matters more confusing scientists recently discovered that the Anastasi could have easily removed the rocks. They didn’t just tolerate the rocks–they farmed them.

In researching other semi-arid places like Easter island such as Chile and Peru, scientists discovered that in certain semi-arid regions rocky soil actually enhances plant growth.

Rocks as Fertilizer

The rocks, both large and small, absorb moisture and release it during times of intense heat and dryness. The rocks retain heat which provides warmth on cold nights, and they contain vital minerals and nutrients which fertilize plants when released. When the Anastasi began farming the rocks–moving, spreading and adjusting them, they reaped a 400% increase in crop yield.

Have you ever thought, “If only I could only overcome this sin, I’d really be holy” or “I would really be able to connect better with God if _______ (insert any struggle, adversity or wound) didn’t exist.”

Most people do. And they don’t stop with themselves. They carry over their spiritual perfectionism into the lives of others—especially young people.

Spiritual Perfectionism

In a desire to protect kids from themselves, others and life, many adults can act as though bearing Christian fruit only happens by eradicating from life’s soil all that is sinful, messy and painful. The sheer impossibility of that leaves many, once enthusiastic, hope filled adults feeling frustrated and discouraged.

Even worse, the youth who cannot attain such unrealistic perfection grow resentful at best or apathetic at worst. Young people know there is more to following Christ than vice eradication and smooth soil. If you come to them with that agenda youth will resist, run and rebel. And worse, they’ll lose respect for you and the faith you represent.

I don’t suggest turning a blind eye to the wounds, problems and other serious issues in the lives of young people. There are issues that merit immediate action. Outside of those, it is critical that we, like the ancient Anastasi, patiently work with and among the rocks which in time yield fruits of compassion, empathy and service.

Click here to learn five things you can do today to help youth grow and mature amidst their “rocks.”

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Relevant Radio Interview about Mother Teresa

 

Click here to listen to my interview on Relevant Radio about Mother Teresa's 100th Birthday 

Click the player above to listen to an interview with Sean Hariot of Relevant Radio's Morning Air program about  MotherMotherteresatimemag Teresa's legacy as we commemorated her would be 100th birthday.  Relevant radio images

 

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Five Tips for Influencing Youth

Have you ever thought “I wish _____ (insert the name of any young person) would listen to me and take more of my advice.”?

Whether we are parents, educators or ministers, we all wish we could exert more influence over the young people in our lives.  There are five things you can  do today to make that happen.

1. Be Accepting. Some confuse the word acceptance with approval. We can accept a young person while not agreeing with certain things they do or believe. Jesus spent a lot of time with people whose behavior he could not condone, but he did not let their sin prevent him from loving and accepting them. Only when youth experience our total acceptance will they consider our beliefs about spirituality and lifestyle choices.

2. Be Present. Young people notice when we are “going through the motions” or mindlessly saying “uh huh” or “head bobbing.” When youth feel we are not really “with” them, but instead are mentally wandering they become resistant and distant.

3. Be Yourself. When I first started working with kids, my attempts to speak their slang often came off as foolish and cost me their respect. While it is important to be familiar with youth culture it is crucial that we remain true to who we are. Young people have enough buddies. What they need and crave are meaningful relationships with mature and healthy adults.

4. Be Vulnerable. Young people know we don’t have it all together. And while we must maintain healthy boundaries when we self-disclose, it is essential that they have a glimpse into our brokenness. It is in our brokenness that they experience our humanity. Be human, be broken, be vulnerable and you’ll be very influential in their lives.

5. Be Interested. To be interesting, be interested. Although youth send signals to the contrary, they want adults to take a sincere interest in them. We do this by asking thoughtful, respectful and open-ended questions about them, their culture and what’s going  on in their lives. And when they risk sharing with you refer back to #1–be accepting!

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Sudoku Ninja

(My friend and mentor Mike Patin posted this great reflection on his blog. Mike will be emceeing the National Conference for Catholic Youth Ministry in New Orleans on December 2-9, 2010.)

My latest diversion is doing Sudoku puzzles.

I’ve seen the puzzles often but I’ve never picked them up. Three weeks ago I tried my first one on a long plane ride home. I didn’t finish. I was getting frustrated at my inability to get it…and get it quickly.  Even more frustrating was the fact that I put down the Sudoku and picked up a crossword puzzle—and finished it in 9 minutes!

I took the unfinished Sudoku with me and found myself drawn back to it in the next few weeks. I would get really close to the solution and then catch a big mistake.  That first puzzle took me over 2 weeks to finish. It’s ragged from the eraser marks and wear and tear (who does these things in INK???).

I asked my daughter and one of my nephews, both of whom are good in math, to show me some tricks or clues because I knew it shouldn’t take me THAT long.  Both patiently tried to explain what they looked for and how they “reasoned.”  The looked at the puzzle in a completely different way than I did.  It was almost like there was another dimension I wasn’t considering.

Life, for me, is a lot like Sudoku.  I don’t like a lot of blank spots.  Often I am arrogant, thinking I have a great strategy but I limit, confuse or sabotage my success when focusing on speed rather than letting answers show themselves.  I’m not patient when answers don’t come quickly Life is filled with struggle (frustration and eraser marks).  Sometimes starting over from the beginning and the basics are a good way to patiently work at the puzzle.

My family has quite a year ahead.  My daughter is facing choices about college, her major, and the future in general. My wife and I are looking ahead to our future—where we’ll work and live.  I wish the answers were laid out clearly like a recipe (Step 1….then Step 2).  Life is more like Sudoku than a recipe.

I do Sudoku 2-3 times a week; it’s become a spiritual exercise of sorts for me.  It reminds me that life’s struggles and answers are more about PROCESS, PERSPECTIVE and REASONING.  I have to slow down and take a good look around.  Mistakes are likely.  I also remember there is another dimension—FAITH—to consider.

I won’t give up.  Answers will come.

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One of my new favorite blogs is The Catholic School Chronicles by Nick Singer. His daily posts alwasy contain something informative or at least interesting for educators. Today's video post is worth watching and sharing–perhaps even at a faculty meeting. 

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