Research shows that 85% of our “church going” young people 
will leave the Church after they
graduate from high school. And while there are many reasons for this, one way I
think we can help turn that tide is by making some subtle shifts in our
language.
We say: “Youth are the future of the church.”
What kids hear: “You are in an indefinite holding pattern
in the sky above real Christian life. Until you’re cleared for landing, shut
up, do what you’re told, don’t complain about how boring Church is and be
grateful you’ve got a guitar at the Sunday evening Mass.”
Try this instead: “You are the Young Church. You offer unique gifts and a bright light our
Church needs today. I encourage you to be creative and courageous in how you
share these. Your Baptism was not a guest pass. You are not visitors in mom’s,
dad’s and Father’s Church. This is your Church. It’s your responsibility to
stake your claim in it.”
We say: “You can make a difference.”
What kids hear: “You don’t make a difference now. One day
your time will come. For now, it doesn’t matter what you do, because it
won’t make a ‘difference’ till later anyway. When you’re older, less rebellious
and more polite you’ll have something worthwhile to offer.”
Try this instead: “You DO make a difference today.
The world is different instant because you are here. What you choose to do and
not do has consequences even if you are not aware of what they are.”
We say: “Someday, you’re gonna’ be somebody.”
What kids hear:
“You’re a seedling who’s time will one day come. If you work hard
enough, dress better and clean up your act you may amount to something. Good
luck and let us know how it turns out!”
Try this: “You don’t have to wait to be remarkable–you already are. If you think you have to wait before you can
share your gifts with the world its only because you don’t believe they’re
worth sharing today. You’re wrong. And I commit (only say this if you mean it)
to walking with you and helping you discover and utilize your gifts.”
What people really hear is more important than what we intend to convey. The diaspora of young people will not be reversed
by a simple change in our language. But changing our language will help. What
else can we do to keep young people engaged in the Church after high school?
(email me at roypetitfils@yahoo.com or lets discuss it on Facebook.
About Roy Petitfils
Roy,
I would love to share your message ‘Kids are NOT the Future of the Church” with the parents in our Faith Formation program. They are not all on face book so I cannot share with them through Facebook. While I want to share the message and give you exposure, I don’t want to share it in any way without your permission, or in any way that does not support your effort to make a living. My means of contacting them would be by putting the article in an email message, naturally with your name and contact information at the bottom.
Thanks,
Anne Angelle
absolutely. I’m honored!